Sophomore, Parkersburg WV
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Quote: "Hey I need to go do some homework."
"I could've hit that--I could've made him straight." "P-N-U-S" "PPPVVV"
"I love twinkies like a fat kid loves cake."
Amy is the resident 4.0 student on the team that has awesome spelling abilities that she learned while traveling those country roads in West Virginia. Speaking of traveling on roads, she's obsessed with keeping clean not only academically, but also maintains good dental hygiene. Check this out. Need I say more?
Senior, Hartsville SC
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Jared comes to us from South Carolina, home of the Cocks. When he's not dropping engineering courses to beg for football tickets, he's been known to get easily excited by the thought of darkness sneaking up on him during polo drills.
Freshman, Nashville TN
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Quote: "Buy some better tickets." "You have
sensitive hands."
Franklin, a lover of pink shirts, comes to us from Music City. He has excellent ball control skills (check out his pinky), and has inherited the position of senior-most freshman from Billy and Seth. He does a great job getting water and balls. All you freshman could learn a thing or two by watching him. Please note how he jumps when the upper classmen tell him to do something--that's key to getting ahead in life. That, and giving Liz the sharpie so she can exercise her creative abilities on you.
Graduate, Birmingham AL
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Quote: "I can't guarantee I won't puke on your leg."
"Yay for engineers!"
Ennis really plays for Auburn, but he's a Volunteer at heart. Known to
throw down with the best of them, Ennis can always be found before the morning's
game in the locker room hugging the porcelain. Ennis has been in school
for a long time, so he's been known to suffer from the maladies that commonly
plague the elderly such as loss of hearing and bodily functions. Ennis is
supposed to be an engineering major, but everyone here at UT thinks he should
apply to dental school.
Sophomore, Vonore TN
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Quote: "Hey, split those so I can sit."
"Just because I've never made out with a woman, doesn't mean that I've never
made out with a woman." "The bathroom is full."
Seth comes to us from the quite large city of Vonore. When he's not taking his mom to Wal-Mart he comes to practice. Seth also is known for losing sight of the goal while celebrating small accomplishments. He uses the cheek method to feel pants and has to be prepared to go down the river at any time. Seth's second year of playing water polo has been a big year of firsts. If the veterans on the team have anything to do with it, it will also feature some seconds, and thirds, and fourths, and .....but only if he can learn to seal the deal, and that'll only happen if he can clear his schedule of commitments....and if he can find the bathroom on his own....
Sophomore, Nashville TN
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Weight: He's a big boy
Quote: "....AWESOME!..." "My Lady Interest
would not be happy." "The Notebook is a good movie." "Nasty has
to pee-pee."
In between trips to Birmingham to watch his "Lady Interest" sing, or watch
her dance, or cuddle with her, or sleep on her floor, or peel her shrimp, Jonas
officially maintains his braid as Shooter's padawan
apprentice. Jonas also speaks always in third person. Jonas is the world
champion of red rover. When Jonas is not playing red rover, Jonas is gladly
finishing any meals that his friends are unable to. Jonas will learn about life
and polo so Shooter's legacy of The Hand and cell phone dancing will continue on
for years. In his first year as a full journeyman, Jonas has encountered
problems never experienced by mentor. Like....women.
Senior, Knoxville TN
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 156 lbs.
Quote: "I'm good-looking. Really, I am."
"I love the Varsity." "My bio is like 7 lines long." "I'm
not peeing; I'm just standing here." "Don't worry, that's not blood on my
shirt/shorts/body." "She's hot from here to here."
"Put some chili on it...Nice." "He sleeps with the livestock."
"If he took my sleeping bag.....so help me Billy...." "Yay for
engineers!" "Why don't I have a tingling sensation in my pants?"
"I want some more George on George action."
Matt has lived in Knoxville all of his life where he has swam competitively
since he was six years old, including four years at Farragut High School.
This will be his fourth year playing water polo where he holds the office of
Treasurer.
He is trying to major in engineering. Hammett has just recently learned that the only way he can score
is by limp-wristing his shots. Through the process of elimination, he now
knows that his patented 10-meter diving skills will only get him so far. Somehow, he's
got to get better so he can "finish off" from his driver position.
He tried branching out into other sports, such as one-handed boxing, and has
limited success against lankier opponents. His never-ending torso gives
him a huge advantage in the water. Before big games, he's been known to
employ the "dab" method for good luck and to help pull him through the game.
Rich "Grand Valley" Harrington
Graduate, Knoxville TN
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Rich went to undergrad at UT and has returned for his PhD. He is also acclaimed for body art that he shows off on away trips.
Graduate, Alcoa TN
Height: 5'7 3/4"
Weight: 164 lbs.
Quote: "Dude, I've got some bad gas." "That
makes me wanna drink..." "Ga-doosh" "That's what I'm talking aboot!"
"So-uhh....yeah...." "I'm a big boy now." "Shake
what you got." "Go to space--it's
just like chemistry and everything else." "Let's not get fastbreaked
on."
Kevin was born in Wurzburg, Germany and raised in Silver Springs, MD.
He has also lived in Virginia, Hawaii, Alabama, and Tennessee. He began
swimming when he was seven and swam seriously for eight years. Over the
summer, he coaches the Maryville-Alcoa Flying Dolphins. He manages several
websites, including this one. Kevin played water polo for two years during
middle school and is in his eighth year of playing water polo for UT. He
is graduated UT with a Math and Computer Science major and Economics minor B.S.
and picked up his M.S. in Computer Science. He is currently working on his Ph. D. in Computer Science
and hopes to get done sometime before Ben gets out of school. He has an
innate ability of getting wide open which enables him to be able to hit the post
from anywhere in the pool. Speaking of innate abilities, I hear he's a
pretty good dancer, but I wouldn't know anything about that... Oh yeah,
he's the team captain for the fourth consecutive year. With age comes
beauty, weak knees, bad shoulders, limp-wristed shots....
Lauren Kirby
Graduate, Kingsport TN
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coming soon...
Junior, Knoxville TN
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Hannah transferred to UT from LSU and is learning to play goalie in her first year of water polo experience. She has yet to master the art of "hanging out." Apparently they didn't teach her that down in the Bayou. I wonder what they did teach her....Anyway, she's known for her intimidating presence in the water that inspires fear from all her opponents and teammates alike.
Kate Parker
Freshman, Atlanta GA
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Quote: "I don't like Billy."
Kate loves Chris George and Shooter. In fact, she wishes Shooter still
played. So do her friends. Kate is afraid of dinosaurs and outer
space.
Stephanie Roth
Graduate, Las Cruces NM
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coming soon...
Junior, Chicago IL
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 128 lbs.
Quote: "Go Birds" "What's PBR?" "I
slept at the Aquatic Center....Really, I did." "...That's two things
I've got going for me." "Shut up Dan." "Game Over Billy."
Liz is a marketing major from Chicago, Illinois. After her third semester, she transferred from Illinois State (Go Birds!) where she swam on their varsity team. She swam for 4 years and played polo for 3 years at Homewood-Flossmoor High School. She has a penchant for Scottish goalies and has been known to get kicked out of even the most innocent of situations. Apparently in Chi-town they don't have Waffle Houses. Maybe they don't even have waffles, cuz Liz still has to figure out how to eat them off her plate rather than her lap. She is known for her witty comebacks and dark nature.
Junior, Knoxville TN
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Quote: "I'm a dolphin." "Your wiener is
for no one but me."
Shope is known for his dealing with "betting men" from strange countries. Most all of his time is devoted to keeping the bookies off him and keeping freshman Dan in line. Shope's trademark is the "delayed smile/head-bob".
Senior+++, Louisville TN
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 175 lbs.
Quote: "I didn't bring my A game today." "Come on guys,
you know how I get..." "There was some chili on that ball." "Game
Over."
Ben is a Chemistry major from Louisville, TN. He went to William Blount High School where he participated in varsity soccer and swimming. Not long ago, it was decided by upper-classmen that he would be UT's goalie. So, if we have a bad year, it's our captain's fault. This year is Ben's fifth year playing water polo. He's got lots of skill jumping on the trampoline and on 15-passenger vans. This is the aqua version of his Carousel routine.
Freshman, Knoxville TN
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Julie takes the UT Polo motto "Take It To The Next Level" to heart. She
can represent with the best of us, and is probably the only person on the team
that can hold a candle to Jonas when it comes to eating. In one sitting,
we've seen her take down three burgers, two full slabs of ribs, a steak and a
couple dogs. You'd never think so when you first look at her or even after
you talk to her, but don't let that take you by surprise.
Carolyn "J-Bags" Viens
Junior, Signal Mountain TN
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Quote: "I thought I got it but then I didn't but then I
did." "I'm not blonde."
Carolyn is a junior majoring in marketing and does other stuff. She's the pres this year. She began competitive swimming in California and continued swimming for GCAC when she moved to the Chattanooga area. In her own words, she brings "flava" to the team. We'll leave defining "flava" as an exercise to the reader. However, we can guarantee you that "flava" has nothing to do with geriatrics from a college near Opelika or UT Polo alumni. She has her own rendition of "the hand" popular with most male Tennessee polo players, and has already mastered the all-important skill of throwing balls right into Slater's face. Like everyone else on the team, she wants to reach great new heights with her play, but she's going to have to reach five feet first. When they become a scoring threat, many players become "marked" players. Carolyn, always wanting to up the bar, is considered "marked territory" by several opponents.
Dan "I'll Bring The Entertainment" Wallace
Sophomore, Cincinnati OH
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 190 lbs.
Quote: "Sleeping is like a time machine."
"Is that Peter North?" "Dan Wallace lives in your head."
"Dude, guess what you can download off the internet these days..."
"You've gotta take exit 29..." "He looks about as comfortable
as a jock strap." "Run when the sun's out."
Midas incorrectly installed a muffler to Dan's rear. It makes a sound similar to ripping paper. We can't decide what's more scary--the sound of ripping paper followed by a wicked grin with no window movement, or his lightning-quick recognition of male professionals. Dan is living proof that not everything from Ohio sucks.
Chris Walker
Junior, St. Louis MO
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coming soon...
Rachael Woods
Freshman, Knoxville TN
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coming soon...
