24. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Were Pure

23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We're Even

20. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

19. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

18. I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

17. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

16. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight

15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

14. I've Got Tears In My Ears From Lyin' On My Back and Cryin' Over You

13. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

12. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

11. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)

10. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You

9. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him

8. Please Bypass This Heart

7. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

6. You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat

5. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

4. If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

3. She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles

2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer

And the Number 1 Country and Western song of all time is...

1. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few