Developed by: Sandra Casey

Level:  3-5

Be a Pro at Self-Control!

Standards Learning Expectations	This activity will help students acquire competencies which relate to the following standards: 7.  Self Knowledge and Interpersonal Skills The student will: 7.3  Monitor behavior and demonstrate self-control 7.5  Demonstrate appropriate communication skills
General Approach	The general approach is that the student will complete an activity on self-control and I-messages incorporated in a counselor-led discussion.
Activity Steps	1.  Introduce the definition of an "I-message."  Today we will be talking about self-control and how to communicate your feelings instead of acting them out.  Using your words often allows others to know what you are feeling without a conflict.  I-messages are a sure-fire way to talk things out.  That means that instead of blaming someone you just relate to them what you think and feel.  The key part of this is using the word "I" instead of "you."  For example, let's say that __________ lost her favorite toy, and she thinks that her little sister took it.  If she said to her sister "You took my toy! Give it back!"  her sister would probably argue with her because she has been blamed.  But if ______ said "I am missing my favorite toy.  Will you help me look for it?"  her sister will more than likely gladly help her look for it.  I-messages are magical little words that allow you to solve a conflict instead of creating one.  2.  Make a magic wand and use it in this lesson. 3.  Create role plays where students can act out situations needing self-control and  communication. 4.  For each role play have the students come to the front of the room.  Explain that in the beginning the students will react using actions, until the magical I-message wand helps them to use their words to solve a problem. 5.  Create blue ribbon cut outs and hand to each student at the end of the lesson.  Write on the ribbon  "I am a self-control pro!" to remind the students of self-control and I-messages
Time Required	This lesson will require 15-20 minutes.
Resources Needed	1.  Magic Wand 2.  Role plays 3.  Blue Ribbons
Performance Indicators	Students will be able to: Describe I-messages. Stop and think before reacting. Recognize why these skills are important to doing well in school.