September has brought a nip of fall into the air and the trees have begun to drop their leaves. With fall comes the annual revival of the much-anticipated tradition of the leaf-blower. Soon the long summer silence will be gone at last and the air will once again be filled with joyful cacophony. Of course summer brings the melody of lawnmowers and the subtle aroma of oil-smoke from their two-stroke engines, but lawn-mowers lack the robust throaty whine of the leaf-blower. A real leaf-blower is petroleum-powered. No true connoisseur of the leaf-blowing craft would countenance the bland hum of those electric-powered imitations. Genuine leaf-blowers emit dense clouds of oily smoke to perfume the fall air with vigorous carcinogens.

It may well be that technology and human intelligence culminate in the leaf-blower. What enormous power we lavish to blow leaves about chaotically, to chase a few chance leaves along a sinuous and meandering path across a suburban driveway, or to direct a powerful blast of air upon moist, sodden leaves that respond by vibrating a bit and staying put.

In less civilized ages, those unfortunates who had not the benefits of our advanced technology were forced to deal with their leaves either by abandoning them in place to rot into the soil or by employing primitive technologies of leaf collection and removal. To allow leaves to rot into the soil is, of course, untidy (think of all the diseases that lurk in rank unwashed leaf piles), but leaving leaves would also, if widely practiced, harm the economy; for rotten leaves add organic matter to soil and so reduce the need for artificial lawn fertilizers—a circumstance potentially damaging to the profits of the chemical industry.

In underdeveloped cultures leaves are collected and removed by means of a long-handled, many-pronged implement called a rake. Using the rake is arduous and unpleasant work. Rakers must exert themselves, moving their hands, arms and shoulders vigorously. They breathe hard; they sweat. They must endure relative silence and breathe unsmoky air. Unaided by the consumption of fossil fuels, some develop unsightly muscles.

People in such underdeveloped cultures undoubtedly spend all their spare time in the fall raking leaves; for, since leaf blowers have motors and rakes don't, leaf blowers must get the job done many times better and faster. Moreover leaf blowers are a relatively new technology and new technologies are good.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there is no status in owning a rake. Rakes are cheap. They require no maintenance or technical expertise. They don't even come with an instruction manual. Rake ownership impresses no one. But come out in your driveway with a loud, colorful, plastic leaf blower and the neighbors will sit up and take notice. They will infer that you are affluent, intelligent, and in command of technological power. To wield a leaf blower is to be somebody.